Seige Weapons

More essay fun!

How many of you have had the problem of nosey or randomly intruding neighbors? The sort who just won't leave you alone, no matter how many restraining orders you give them? Well, these helpful ideas may help you keep them at bay, using the same weapons or troops bravely fighting in Carthage are using!
You may want to try putting one of the newest line of catupults from SeigeCo in or on your home, the Onager. Designed to destroy walls without leaving them even the slightest chance, the Onager is high class neighbor intimidation. Also available are smaller models, the Scorpion and the 'Little Rockflinga'.
However, if your neighbor happens to live in the same block of flats as you, you don't particularly want to destroy load-bearing walls by accident. Which is why you want the Ballista, a rapid-reloading crossbow-like weapon, ideal for taking out small, fleshy, moving targets!
If you have a budget, you might want to invest in a seige tower. While these can be picked up relatively cheap (<2000 drachmas) at a millitary surplus heap, these tend to be spotty and not always reliable. Its much better to have one custom built to suit your own personal needs than to get one used, and tests we have conducted here at Better Rome And Garden havbe showed up to 90% more efficient destruction with newer models. A newly built tower also has the advantage of being new, which adds to the jealosy factor for your neighbors. Using these things is pretty simple, just hide whatever othe conventional weapons under them you need and slowly drill down your neighbor's defences.
Of course, if its just their dog that bothering you, you can always just put up sharp spikes.

Our neighbors at our old house actually did the sharp spikes thing, but they hid them, so if a dog tried to enter their yard, it would impale itself. We think they were schizophrenic. (They had delusions too, but thats another post...)